Toxic Positivity: An Illusion of Optimism

A belief that no matter how difficult the situation is, one should always maintain a positive mindset and have a “good vibes only” approach to life, neglecting the harsh reality, on the contrary, can be put down as Toxic Positivity.

There is a misconception that you being mentally healthy means being happy all the time. Many must have come across these expressions where they say: keep your chin up, or be positive, and who hasn’t heard the advice: when life gives you lemons, make lemonade? I’d like to suggest that you keep your chin up where and when it is needed and do whatever you want with the lemons in your life. Good mental health comes from feeling a full range of emotions, happy and sad, comfortable and uncomfortable, “positive” and “negative”. 

Positive thinking and optimism have their own benefits, toxic positivity on the other hand is being in denial of the really difficult emotions and putting up a falsely positive façade. It is the mindset that even when faced with hardship, people should maintain a positive attitude. While toxic positivity is usually shared with the simplest intentions, it lacks compassion. It can exist in your own self-talk as well as when connecting with others.

Here are some signs that positivity has turned toxic: 

 • Brushing off rather than facing your problems and emotions 

 • Feeling guilty or shameful for experiencing “negative” emotions 

 • Avoiding or hiding from uncomfortable feelings 

 • Only focusing on the positive aspects of a painful situation 

 • Being too hard on yourself for feeling varied emotions. 

Toxic positivity takes positive thinking to an overgeneralized extreme. This attitude doesn't just stress the importance of optimism; it minimizes and denies any trace of human emotions that are not strictly happy or positive.

I believe that everyone experiences their highs and lows at some point in their lives. Similarly, when I was going through such a phase in my life, I observed that I was being too hard on myself. I constantly kept telling myself, ‘This is just a phase, be strong, you can do this, don’t feel sad, not a big deal, keep distracting yourself.' To my surprise, this kept me motivated for the time being, but soon enough I would lose motivation and start feeling anxious again.

In this process, I realized that for ages we’ve been taught to embrace and celebrate all our happy emotions and hide sad emotions because they make us look weak. We need to normalize embracing all our emotions, whether they're happy or sad.

Effects of Toxic Positivity: 

Just like anything done over limits, when positivity is employed to hide up or silence the human experience, it becomes toxic. Toxic positivity can silence negative emotions, demean grief, and make one feel under pressure to pretend to be happy even when they are struggling. This disconnects you from your own self and all negative feelings keep piling up which ultimately leads us to feel depressed for many days.

How to deal with Toxic Positivity: 

Emotions can never be escaped; one cannot run away from emotions. We might distract ourselves for the time being but they are going to come back instead We need to accept the fact that, ‘I don’t feel okay today' and that is completely alright and help ourselves not hold onto negative thoughts and let them go. By not putting much pressure on ourselves and embracing all the emotions we can deal with toxic positivity. Nobody is perfect, everyone is flawed which eventually makes us Human. Human beings are made up of all the happy, grateful, sad, anxious, and stressful emotions. When we start listening to our body and mind and identify what we’re feeling our soul gets connected to our bodies and creates a more peaceful and healthy mindset.

- Bhargavi Visave (Team SYNC Snippets)